Monday 3 January 2011

1 September

I’ve got the habit of writing a log every day. Yesterday, I tried to do boxes in pencil. After one hour’s work, I got a horrible feeling of failure; I can not get anything right; I hate the media of pencil; and nearly ended by wishing to get a ruler and make a technical drawing all of these boxes. All these exercises with pencil bring back horrible memories from school where I did thousands of technical drawings in pencil. Now I understand why in the past I always avoided to take a pencil in hand and all the sketches I did in a media that I paint, whether watercolour or oil.
Anyway, yesterday was not the best day of my life: I had a bad allergic attack and by the end of the day, was not able to move. So it’s hard to tell what makes me feel bad, bad experience with a pen or my illness.
I looked in the student book of Oca again and found some questions I forgot to answer after doodling and all experience to discover new media.
How did holding your pen or pencil in different way effect your drawing?
Simple question for normal people, or I am not normal, or do something wrong that is equivalent not to being normal. When I hold pen or pencil in different way, I like to continue drawing in this position and try to do what is nearly impossible to do with such a type of lines that pencil or pen produce. So enjoyment turns to hard chore, but after, it it is very easy draw right way. Still not very happy about pencil but pen, ink and charcoal make me very happy and I feel I can draw with them for hours. I really enjoy working with these medias.
Which drawing tools suited the different mark making techniques you used?
Each one suit everything if try hard enough.
Did you find that any marks or tools you used matched particular emotions or feelings? Did one convey calm and another frenzy for example?
Hate pencils, fine with charcoal pencils and charcoal. Charcoal makes me very happy, with them I get feeling if you want to sing, of course if I had the ability to do so, but I do not.
Watercolour pencils give to me a nice feeling to draw, but, as I have never use them before, I always feel as though I sit on a horse without any riding lessons and as if it is up to the horse: is she calm or will she throw me away?
Ink has a wow factor, but I believe I will have most trouble with this media, because this media for me an absolute – perfect or nothing – that will very hard to achieve.
Colour pencils are as returning to kindergarten: happy memories of protection and joy; be creative, but, when finished painting, you just throw it out as a tree throws autumn leaves out when it turns from green to red and yellow. No exciting feeling about the media, just warm feelings of an old toy with which you grew up.
From pastel, to my surprise after I love charcoal so much, I did not got any excitement or metallic crayons; sort of all right, but nothing more.
How did the introduction of colours (soft pastels,conte crayons) affect your mark making?
Unfortunately, it did not affect me at all. I got a feeling of texture of media but not of excitement of colours.
Which of these experiments have you found most interesting and rewarding?
All of this experiments are rewarding because you analyze which media or tools you want use, how any media works on different paper, even though I could not make myself do doodling on expensive paper; I opened a block, but cannot put lines on it; it is as treasure: you want save the cake for a special occasion, not eat every day. I did experiment in past with different drawing on different paper, so it is not the first time, but some media I never used for work, so it was interesting to discover them and their abilities the easy way, not the hard way as I usually use.
By the way, I found out after using tools and media that I do not have any techniques to use them, so maybe it’s not such a bad idea to learn them, because the intuitive way is not always the fastest and best way to learn to draw, especially with pencil (maybe because I have not any nice feelings about this media as well). Of course I never could become Rembrandt and do not have 20 years for it plus luck, so better to get practice and find tips on how to do it.
I have no problem with experimenting with charcoal, but must first learn to use pencil.
Will do some work today ,but tomorrow, when my daughter will goes to school finally, I will have more time; hopefully we will not need go to our other house to pick up something what we desperately need ……but, on the other hand, I definitely need a table.
doodling





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